House of the Dragon brings another brutal marriage to the GoT world

Ah, weddings – a time of love, and if you’re living in the world of Game of Thrones or House of the Dragon, a time of carnage and death.

[Warning: Spoilers ahead for episode 5 of “House of the Dragon.”]

There’s a wedding in the fifth episode of the GoT spinoff House of the Dragon (Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO). Of course, this leads to a disaster with a dramatic murder.

“GoT” had the famous Red Wedding (season 3 episode “The Rains of Castamere” where Robb Stark, his mother, wife and unborn child were brutally butchered). This show also had the Purple Wedding (Season 4 “The Lion in the Rose”), in which the hideous villain Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) suffocated by poison at his own wedding.

Now add the ceremony of Rhaenyra and Laenor to the list. Another Joffrey died at a wedding in Westeros.

Robb Stark is stabbed by Roose Bolton "Game by Thones."
Robb Stark (Richard Madden) is stabbed to death at the Red Wedding in Game of Thrones.
Natalie Dormer with Jack Gleeson at his throat.
Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) dies at the Purple Wedding in Game of Thrones.
King Viserys (Paddy Considine) and Rhaenyra Targaryen (Milly Alcock) sit at a table at a feast "house of the dragon."
King Viserys (Paddy Considine) and Rhaenyra Targaryen (Milly Alcock) in House of the Dragon.

This Joffrey (Solly McLeod) in House of the Dragon is way prettier than the one in GoT. He is the boyfriend of Laenor, who is marrying Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) due to a political agreement between their families. It turns out that Rhaenyra’s fiancé is gay, so they agree to an open marriage where they can both meet other people on the side. Laenor is still able to date Joffrey, and Rhaenyra is still able to see her dreamy protector, Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel), who she slept with in the last episode.

The wrench in this plan? Criston doesn’t want to be Rhaenyra’s supporting character. And he’s furious that she’s not willing to give up her crown to run away and marry him. He is so angry that he goes completely insane and publicly murders Joffrey for the crime of confronting Criston about them both dating the newlyweds. Joffrey isn’t taunting him, he just wants to make sure they’re all on the same page in their unconventional relationship.

But Criston catches and murders him and does a full swing from Prince Charming to Michael Myers.

King Viserys (Paddy Consideine), Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) and Laenor (Theo Nate) at the Disaster Wedding Feast "house of the dragon."
King Viserys (Paddy Considine), Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) and Laenor (Theo Nate) at the disaster wedding at the “House of the Dragon”.
Theo Nate continues as Laenor Velaryon "house of the dragon."
Theo Nate as Laenor Velaryon in House of the Dragon.

The wedding wasn’t going well even before the murder – Daemon (Matt Smith) shows up grinning and his angry brother King Viserys (Paddy Considine) allows him to sit at their table, despite their falling out in the last episode Daemon makes hanging out with Rhaenyra in a brothel. You know, normal family antics. Daemon also recently murdered his own wife, and she has some family members attending the event who aren’t happy with him – making for some awkward moments.

Daemon also dances with Rhaenyra while her angry father looks on.

To make matters worse, Alicent (Emily Carey), Rhaenyra’s former best friend and now stepmother, has now turned on Rhaenyra after she found out that Rhaenyra lied to her when she warned Rhaenyra about the rumors about her sex life in defended in the last episode. To show that she no longer supports her stepdaughter, she makes a dramatic entrance in a green dress (symbolizing the war for her house, someone whispers on screen), interrupting the king’s speech and creating a tense moment.

Spoiler alert from the Fire & Blood book – this story leads to a civil war between factions that are essentially Team Alicent and Team Rhaenyra. So this is a big step in that direction.

Alicent (Emily Carey) in a green dress stands in a doorway.
Alicent (Emily Carey) in her infamous green dress in House of the Dragon.
Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) and her fiancé Laenor (Theo Nate) smile at each other on a beach "house of the dragon."
Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) and her fiancé Laenor (Theo Nate) agree on an open relationship in House of the Dragon.

All of these awkward interactions culminate in Criston getting out of hand and murdering poor Joffrey, who should have known better than to attend a wedding in Westeros. People named Joffrey should really just sit it out.

The episode ends with Rhaenyra and a crying Laenor tying the knot while the corpse of Laenor’s friend lies in the background.

Weddings in Westeros – so romantic!

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