Madonna NFT porn is the latest dirty attentions

Madonna, please, please stop expressing yourself.

For the Material Girl’s latest desperate, dirty craft project, she’s released three NFTs (or non-fungible tokens, the stupid internet trend I don’t want to accept or understand) of a 3-D animated version of herself, fully nude, spread eagle and the birth of full-size centipedes and trees.

And it’s not even Arbor Day.

Like a Westworld porn scene, a fembot Madonna sits on a metal operating table in a sterile laboratory while Central Park emerges from between her legs clown wagon fashion. Her song “Justify My Love” plays in the background.

Hm. Disgusted and annoyed, the viewer begins to reconsider Madge’s performance in “Evita”: She was actually pretty good.

After watching the predictably gritty video clips created in collaboration with someone who has chosen to go by the name of Beeple, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it – ew! Egg!

Prepare yourself. As if we were living in a futuristic dystopian hellscape where the earth is ruled by hippie sex robots, Madonna’s privates have been recreated through computer scans. They do a lot more than a cameo.

Madonna begins naked on an operating table.
An NFT begins with an animated Madonna lying naked on an operating table.
Mother of Creation.xyz
Caterpillars and trees appear between Madonna's legs.
Caterpillars and trees appear between Madonna’s legs.
Mother of Creation.xyz

You don’t have to be a snooty art critic to understand the nasty NFTs. This isn’t the kind of nuanced, mysterious, layered piece of art you stare at and try to guess its meaning. Dubbed the “Mother of Creation,” it’s perhaps the most obvious piece about motherhood and rebirth ever invented. Next to Garden O’ Madge, Georgia O’Keeffe’s strikingly shaped buds are subtle.

Listen, I love stunts. But Madonna’s stunts now bring laughter and sighs because her whole life is a fucking stunt.

She hasn’t recorded a solid new song since, I don’t know, “4 Minutes” with Justin Timberlake 14 years ago. However, she’s a seasoned pro at finding ways to rip her clothes off and self-righteously call it art. There was her 1992 book Sex and her raunchy film Body of Evidence. She posed topless on Instagram in April and last February.

Madonna sells the three NFTs for charity.
Madonna sells the three NFTs for charity.
Mother of Creation.xyz

Starved for attention, Madge tweeted Pope Francis five days ago asking if they could meet to discuss their “blasphemous behavior.” The Pope, knowing that ancient Latin texts are more interesting, did not answer. He gave her a Holy Spirit.

The woman who burned crosses in music videos is asking the Vatican to condemn her. Sad.

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